I take Riley to Central Park during off-leash hours just about every morning, and we tend to hang out with the same group of dogs and their owners each day. But it wasn’t always that way. There was a time when we’d awkwardly stand at the outskirts of a group of dogs playing, their owners huddled in a semicircle. We’d hope that someone would notice us, give a nod, and offer an opening for conversation, and ultimately, acceptance.
Image via theweblicist.com
See, the thing is, Riley doesn’t really get the whole playing gently thing. She growls when she runs to act tough, and she body-checks. She stands protectively over water bowls, and she even steals other dogs’ sticks. Luckily, my “dog park friends” have grown to laugh at Riley’s idiosyncrasies because they know she’d never hurt a fly. She’s even affectionately been dubbed “The Fun Police” for her tendency to try to herd up other dogs who appear to be having a good time without her.
Still, I’ve realized that dog park politics are very real, and they simply come with being a dog owner during off-leash hours. Here are a few things (some rules, really) that I have learned and have saved me, and my at-times socially awkward dog, from being shunned:
- If your dog does something bad (eg, steals another dog’s ball, growls at someone he doesn’t like, etc.), play dumb and smile.
- Ask before feeding another dog a treat. Not doing so will incite rage in those dog owners who only feed their animals things like organic boneless chicken breasts ordered in from Swifty’s.
- If you have a pit bull or pit bull mix of any kind, you are sort of screwed. People will look you up and down and whisper behind your back, convinced your dog is only seconds away from eating their pet. It’s awful and unfair, really. You will have to work doubly hard for acceptance.
- If your (larger) dog is playing with a Maltese, Yorkie, or Havanese, you will be blamed for any drama that ensues, even if the little punk is the one who started something.
- Treat the dog park like a dinner party: Avoid topics like religion and politics. That conversation is not going to end up anywhere good.
- That hot guy throwing a ball to his German Shepherd? Yep, he’s got a girlfriend. Don’t waste your time.
- Even if you think a certain dog owner is beyond bizarre, tell him that his dog is beautiful and be diplomatic while your dogs play. Your dog shouldn’t have to give up friends just because the thought of talking to a certain dog’s owner makes you want to jump in front of a bus. Suck it up.
- If your dog is a humper, rein that sh*t in.
- Befriend park rangers and staff. Then they won’t out you to the 5-0 when you have your dog off the leash a few minutes after 9 am.
- Bring extra water to share. It will make people like you.
Think I’m missing anything?